Decisions: What if there’s no ‘right’ choice?

How does anyone ever know if they’ve made the right decision? Ever? There’s the gut, the heart, the head—and let’s be honest, sometimes they’re all talking over each other. One says “leap,” another says “wait,” and the third just wants a snack and a nap.

Life is basically one long string of decisions. Some small: Do I answer this email now or pretend I didn’t see it yet? Socks or no socks with these shoes? And some, well, they split your life wide open.

For me, breast cancer shoved me into a maze of medical decisions. I remember once telling someone at my door, “Sorry, I’m not capable of making any more decisions right now.” And I meant it. It wasn’t about solar panels—it was that I couldn’t hold one more choice in my brain. It wasn’t just about survival; it was the emotional weight of owning every “what if.”

And yet, that wasn’t the hardest decision I’ve made. One of the longest and most soul-searching choices I wrestled with was divorcing a narcissist. That one didn’t just affect me—it rippled through every part of my life. But once I made the call? I moved forward. Full throttle. That’s who I am. I might take forever to get there, but once I do, I’m gone like a rocket.

Maybe you’re the opposite. Maybe you stall, second-guess, loop the pros and cons until the list curls in on itself. Or maybe you decide quickly and live with the consequences, even when they sting. Either way, you’re not alone.

There’s no right way to make a decision—but let’s be honest, we’re making them constantly. Whether it's choosing to forgive someone, take a new job, end a friendship, help our kids or let them figure it out on their own... even deciding what kind of person we want to be today—it all stacks up.

And the pressure? It's real. Especially for women. We’re expected to be decisive but also agreeable. Strong but not too assertive. Thoughtful but fast. We absorb the idea that we should just “know,” instantly. But often, we don’t.

Sometimes you decide with data. Other times with faith. Sometimes with the full clarity of hindsight and occasionally with nothing but a whisper from your gut saying, “this way.”

And afterward? That’s where the real work is. Sitting in the stillness of the choice. Living it. Seeing how it shapes you. Sometimes it fits like a glove, other times it rubs like a pebble in your shoe—but either way, you made it. That counts for something.

I don’t think life is about always getting it right. I think part of the whole human experiment is to see which decisions we make and where we take ourselves. It’s the exploration of becoming.

So when you don’t know what to do next—learn, ask questions, sleep on it, pray, meditate, talk it out, and listen closely to that quiet voice inside. Then make your choice and move forward.

That’s all any of us can really do.

Note to self (and maybe to you too): Just because it’s hard doesn’t mean it’s wrong. And just because it feels certain doesn’t mean it’ll be forever. You’re allowed to pivot, change, and decide again.